The Magnificence of Kyler Murray, Real and Imagined

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The Magnificence of Kyler Murray, Real and Imagined

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Kyler Murray poses with a member of the Cardinals’ coaching staff on the field. For his performance that afternoon, he’ll be named NFC Offensive Player of the Week, but he doesn’t know it yet. He is well aware that he has concerns about the grass. It’s December 2020, five days before Christmas, and you’re warming up for a home game against the Eagles. He’s a great guy. mic’d up for the Cards’ YouTube channel and about to go full yard doctor.

“This isn’t rye grass, is it?” says the narrator. Murray inquires.

“It’s actually more Bermuda in the middle,” the staffer says.

“It’s Bermuda?” Murray asks.

“So this will have a little bit more stability on the inside.” The staffer says, “The rye is going to be on the outside.”

Murray inquires. “We’ve got Bermuda and rye, so I should be able to finish this quickly, right?”

“Pretty fast,” the staffer says.

Murray inquires. “Do you think I should get ghost on this?”

“You should be going,” the staffer says.

“All right, bet,” Murray says.

Since 1997, we’ve been dusting defenses. I have no idea what kind of grass we have in our yard. Bermuda has always seemed to me to be the best, owing to its location. Here’s a link to Lawn and Order. Casper is a jovial quarterback. sounds The very best. If you tell me my options are Bermuda or tall fescue when it comes to grass, I’m going to choose Bermuda every time and feeling great about it. The rate of change translates. Murray, on the other hand, can scoot through any type of grass, including Kentucky bluegrass, Mexican feather grass, and buffalo grass. He could play in a cornfield while wearing hiking boots and torching defenses.

The Kyler Murray experience is part NOS and part John Wick in a hall of mirrorsMurray’s running style is usually compared to one of two things: .. If you put Dr. Seuss and Dr. Z in the same room, you get him. Sonic the Hedgehog and the Road Runner.. People say he blurs his legs when he runs. Those are the things. churnGuys dive for him and completely miss him. .. They can do it sometimes, but man, they can’t do it all the time. He dances up to the point where defenders can reach out and touch him. Inquire of Jamal Adams. And they make an effort. He cinches his legs together.

Halfway back to New York, Kyler Murray jukes Jamal

— The Game Day NFL (@TheGameDayNFL) November 20, 2020

Ask the 2020Washington defense.

I’m skipping it because I’m afraid I’ll get too caught up in the Pitbull-Kesha NBA playoffs promos. He enters through the trees. The larger they are, the more difficult it is for them to fall. Dale is a character in the film Dale. I’m just about to crack a bad timber joke here. Comes out with bodies strewn about. If I do that, I’ll be thinking about “playoffs” for the rest of the day. With all due respect to Mr. Worldwide, I am not attempting to live in such a manner.

He takes off like a quail. Murray is lightning fast when it comes to playing ping-pong against himself. People refer to his 40th birthday as if it were Bigfoot. He is a man of many talents. Nobody knows what it is, or at least no one has publicly stated that they do. In the spring of 2017, he allegedly clocked a hand-timed 4.38.At the 2019 combine, Isabella ran a 4.31. .. Murray managed to hold his own. There’s a grainy video of him sprinting alongside Cardinals burner receiver Andy Isabella at a practice.

You recognize him when you see him. It wasn’t necessary. Aside from that, it’s been crickets. At neither his pro day nor the combine, he did not run. But that’s all there is to it. Andre the Giant doesn’t have to remind you how tall he is. The proof is right in front of your eyes.

It’s not that he’s uncontrollable. In each of the Cardinals’ first three games this season, Murray has thrown a pick on the first possession of the second half. He also has a habit of bailing out of the pocket too soon, either because he’s too small to see his receivers or because he’s decided to “forget about my progressions and move on to the acrobatic portion of the routine.” He’s simply open-minded and willing to give anything a shot. ESPN’s (ESPN) He’s a Young Quarterback Portrait of a Madman. This isn’t a fail-safe method of operation. He can appear to be evil, but he can also appear to be magical. Ryan Clark called him“A true deception master.” Defenders arrive without a plan and are met with nothing but sod.

It’s a miracle he doesn’t laugh every time he drops a guy. I’d be laughing the entire way down the field, pointing at defenders as they fell. It’s been a pleasure to know you for so long.It reminds me of a joke by Jack Handey. His game is incredibly amusing. At some point, you begin to feel for the defense. He cooks guys to the point where they’re on all fours, looking for a contact. It doesn’t matter that the safeties have angles on him.

First and foremost, I learned to forgive myself. “Go ahead and do whatever you want; it’s fine with me,” I told myself.

This one, too.

Is there anything more beautiful than a flamingo flying across the sky in front of a stunning sunset? And he’s holding a lovely rose in his beak, as well as a lovely painting in his feet. You’re also inebriated.

Through the first half of his third NFL season, the pyrotechnics have increased in both wattage and splendor. Murray has a habit of skipping into the end zone. He scrambles for nearly 30 yards on occasion before launching 77-yard bombs for touchdowns.

I forget that you can watch Kyler Murray throw a ball that ends up in the hands of someone as bizarre as Rondale Moore in the pros.

— BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL (@edsbs) September 19, 2021

It reminds me of Michael Jordan’s basketball commentary. I like it when TV analysts say things like “the ______ position.” He likes to say “every now and then.” Basketball isn’t always referred to as “basketball” by him. It would be much simpler to simply say quarterback, but “the quarterback position” sounds more sophisticated. Murray’s size necessitates a complete erasure of history, as well as a loss of consciousness. Maybe they’re letting you know that by saying “quarterback,” they’re also letting you know that they know about all these other positions you’ve never heard of before, so if you have any questions, just ask. Being a great quarterback necessitates a level of self-confidence that borders on delusion. There isn’t a lot of precedent for a quarterback of his stature doing what he’s doing. the game of basketball.” The phrasing, somehow, evokes wisdom?

Murray is entertaining to discuss because his talent is so exceptional that it allows people to make claims about history, football players and athletes, and the entirety of time. You’re drafted into the NFL’s top ten. andPeople throw roses at MLB drafts. Lincoln Riley, Murray’s head coach at Oklahoma, said before the 2019 NFL draft, told Rich Eisen“You’re talking about one of the most elite athletes in the history of sports.” Some even go so far as to refer to him as the best athlete in the world.

One of Murray’s backups tried to describeHe completed 19 of 24 passes for 213 yards and four touchdowns. his quickness “It was pretty crazy to see that first step and burst. To be honest, it was on a different scale.” During the broadcast, Brock Huard served as ABC’s analyst. People are almost reverent because of the athleticism. It was a simple task. Murray and Oklahoma defeated TCU 52-27 in 2018. After a nice Murray run late in the first quarter, Huard asked play-by-play man Bob Wischusen, “ I ran for another 51 minutes. Have you ever seen quicker feet?” TCU head coach Gary Patterson asked about a month later, after he’d had time to process the loss. Gary Patterson said“I wouldn’t want to play them twice with Kyler,” says the coach. It’s recess time. And the volume is turned up to eleven.” Right now, I’m telling you.

Kliff Kingsbury is the person he trusts. This is something that all exciting people do. The decision-making process could be enhanced. He’s a thrill-seeking outlaw on a mission to astound and humiliate. He can appear to be a bungalow nestled amongst skyscrapers when surrounded by linemen. Nobody doubts his arm strength. What evidence do we have? He’s the first player to be built like that and play like this. His quickness is always praised. Murray’s short stature adds to the fun of watching him. I’m not sure he’s fearless, but he’s certainly courageous. He is a risk taker.

Murray’s best quality is that he looks like he’s running on a moving walkway when he’s out in the open field. He also has the ability to look good. cool in dark helmet visorsIt’s somewhere between baroque and punchy florals. Wouldn’t we all, though? Not that she doesn’t do it all the time. .. He’s always been a big cat’s best friend. She dresses in flamboyant leopard-print shirts. Murray, I believe, would approve. I’m not sure what your personal print rankings are, but leopard is at the top of mine. I think my Nana would look cool in a visored helmet.

Murray does burnouts in front of the police station and fishes water moccasins out of creeks with his bare hands. When Kingsbury starts dressing like him, he shakes his head. Kingsbury is a town in the United Kingdom. stays in places you’ve only seen in magazines and have no idea what they’re called: VERANDA, DOOR AND HANDLE, BACKYARD GAZEBO, GARDENS WITH FLOWERS, FIREPLACE AFICIONADO, THE NO-SHOW DRESS SOCK GAZETTE, THE JOURNAL ON HOW TO TURN YOUR HOTNESS INTO A PROFESSIONAL COACHING JOB, HAIR MOUSSE QUARTERLY.. He is a reader. Murray lives in his spaceship, which he keeps in a parking lot just outside of Scottsdale. The Art of War and a novelization of Olivier Assayas’s Personal Shopper. He likes the descriptions of Maureen’s sweaters.

Murray calmly tells Erin Andrews, “We just wanted to come out, set the tone, be aggressive,” while holding the severed heads of his enemies. These millionaire athletes are spoiled rotten. He’s a tearjerker. He looks great in a black suit with brown shoes. Every day, he starts his day with a glass of Kevin Sumlin’s tears, ice cold. They’ve been flown in on a special flight.

His cleats have set fire to the ground. At the tops of active volcanoes, he wears a blindfold and works on hip drive dissociation. Murray tosses footballs into the air, takes his peacemaker out of his holster, and blows them out of the sky.

There’s a time for the playbook and a time to have a good time. Murray will occasionally deliver a mind-blowing run-100-yards-to-pick-up-20 highlight. Specials that melt announcers’ brains and return them to their childhood. There is an appropriate time for order and an appropriate time for chaos. Even for him, there was one against the Titans in Week 1 that was out of this world.

Can’t catch Kyler Murray (via @NFL)

— NFL on ESPN (@ESPNNFL) September 12, 2021

He ran 43 yards to throw the ball 18 yards. He’ll put on a show for you because you paid money. Above and beyond expectations. A true superstar.

Kyler Murray throws the ball better off his back foot than anyone else.

— H刃wk #ForPapa (@GowanSeason) September 20, 2021

In his rookie season, he averaged 6.9 yards per attempt. This isn’t a statistic, but I’m sure a tired bear could outrun it. 7.1 last year. He has a 9.9 rating through three games this season. His precision and dexterity are impeccable. He’s thrown for 1,005 yards and seven touchdowns this season, and he’s also scored on the ground in every game.

He makes men fall at his feet by shaking them without touching them. Murray may be the best backyard footballer ever. A howitzer-wielding prankster. They can’t take it anymore. It causes blindness.

Kyler Baudelaire. He bleeds sun.

He goes around chasing people, and it’s hilarious. He had this last season against the Lions. When it comes to quarterbacks, the term “gunslinger” is overused. Murray isn’t so much a gunslinger as an angel of death and terror intent on inflicting as much pain as possible, in the most absurd way possible, by any means necessary. keeper that left Jeff Okudah grabbing at rye.

Larry Fitzgerald was forced to do this by a play that was so entertaining.

I’m with you, Lare. Hilarious.

Tyler Parker

is a writer from Oklahoma.

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